Attorious Renee Augustin
Attorious Renee Augustin is a black neurodivergent nonbinary artist from Wanamassa, NJ. Their work appears currently in Cixous 72 Journal, Forward Reviews and on YouTube. Attorious has a Masters of Fine Arts in Poetry from Rutgers University-Newark. They are the host of Lampblack’s IG Live Series, The Inky Bulb and a Teaching Artist with New Jersey Performing Arts Center, where they were co-artistic director of NJPAC’s 2021 performance, Phronesis: A Focus on Frequency. Attorious Renee can be found performing along the Jersey Shore or on all platforms @ahmosegrace.
on the day of disappointment or questioning value during celebrations of heart martyrs or an ode to sidehoe behavior
here is a cautionary tale about pillow talk/ do know where you stand in the hierarchy/ so when you ask me what the saddest thing about me is/ i shouldn’t simply say: i have never had a picturesque valentine’s day/ but i did & i don’t know why i crave this but i do/ could be a self aggrandizement/ who is to stop time to steal the liminal for me/ i be the master of cramped spaces/ slippery hour handsy on handsome highways/ must be the mother wound/ like forgotten plays, taken calls during concerts, and missed graduations/ in the time before two ticket maximums/ i digress because you’ve just been in my torrent so you say i don’t believe that for a single second/ although you yourself be wishy washy at best/ afraid to have me but lost without my questions and candid care/ even thicke lies cost you everything/ i want to wish you well magellan/ yet thing is i be oracle/ you simply forgets these conversations/ didn’t know i knew i would be writing this exact memory while the conundrum appears to question the axiology of my person from every angle/ the touch of you calming the very nerve you aggravate/ what is a valuable mind if its roots rot in isolation/ account for all the ways i offered ego erosion and oops/ how many ways can i break my own heart by mourning/ my active imagination says it’s fine i’m a cactus knowing orchids be too expensive/ delicate disposition/ need more attention/ the details accounted for/ what does it mean to have a need/ something about mirroring your indecision makes my deepest fears manifest/ what does it mean to be good enough when the sun sets before the harmonious hour/ we’ve traded keys faster than the 6 foot fall/ buried depth of insecurity/ dystopian distortions of wicked wisdom/ a lie of omission don’t make almost whole/ steadfast and immovable like religious trauma/ but the truth is i just be thinking/ freestanding freestyle/ spitballing
a study on red:
cruella’s call
seductive as ever
i wake reaching for your clay
marvel at the memory of your molding
& press the page into a soaking shape
but we both know if i stayed
my wicked heartbeat would pomegranate
beneath your delicate sensibilities
i taste our last kiss upon waking
& remember the promise not to
leave my lost balloons on your collar
my brick on your clavicle
instead i’ll leave strawberries to rot
with each wash the particles leak
your fears of finding out the spontaneous
combustion was your warming globe
of love potions gone wrong
the sunset taste of turmeric
& ginger eased the abundant ache
the arrival of apology papers to our grand mistake
a cautionary tale the cherry holds
the muse speaks
my parents gifted me an omen
but i just be observing
often accused of being oracle
of the pilfered players but i’m the bad guy
if i declare red comes in 22 hues.
when you bare my intonation
do you think they know
the compassionate care received
was the eve gene & preverbal first?
i wondered why my dreams
disappeared but even a mime
could communicate candor
in silence or shadow turn toward
the mirror of makers & truth is
complete works are still
missing footnotes, 1 shifting perspectives
absent narratives as to what is erasure
without savior complexities unseen
solidarity is a seductive gesture
accomplice: how’s doing the work?
burdens buried beyond the celestial
the rene’s know the boundary
of apples and meditations
who is allowed to be holy
1 mythology moves on metaphysical mysticism
Player Two, Playlists & Prayers
uno house rules for shift from location to location/ but heed this warning swiftly/ do not play card games with harmless misfits or hurt metaphysicians/ with those that eye timestamps & star patterns/ cracking cryptics a monstrous pastime/ they have learned to question their shifting realities/ time & time again/ their cranium sharpening the knives of worthy/ dressed in distraction/the draw of wilds & reversals of countenance/ a shimmering glamor to disarm the draft beneath the sternum from sight/ the only etching remains a human encephalon/ lantern drunk off laughter crawling towards the crested deliverance/ when the right turn calls for it/ the logical choice usually just/a stroke of genius/ a pull of flower/ confidently release over the bigger hand/ the hour a steeple synchronized in payoffs/ the sun threatens to beam furthermore/ between a void & a firecracker/ equal potential for damage closed in the cupboard/ 4:4 a natural rhythm their breath finds/ locked stones & a loaded muse/ shift the tide on an vindictive out/ consider how “quantum leap” & “miracle” are synonymous/ no matter the realm a portal brain needs no use of computers/ when the tantrum ensues apology their last chewed straw/ to hide the survival synapses