Michelle Ortega

Michelle Ortega is a board member and teaching artist for Arts by the People. Her latest chapbook, When You Ask Me, “Why Paris?” was released in July 2025 (Finishing Line Press). Find her work at www.michelleortegawrites.com

The Essential

I know how to escape a trap, just don’t know how to avoid one in the first place which is why I end up living a life split in two, my daughter with me half the week, the other half on my own which is not easy because I only know alone and unbelonging having not yet grown into solitude but I manage anyway, week after week; my hands are full and tied at the same time with a never-ending separation from her father, too many broken things to repair; one week a summer I escape my life and breathe like I own the air around me; deboarding the seaplane in Bimini for a customs check I am on my way elsewhere but wonder if that’s a mistake because the island’s raw vibration, its rough edges of sand and sea and wild palms and balmy wind awakens my stifled wanderlust and desire for adventure, not just a vacation; blue water horizon invites me to explore so the following year I return to Bimini, the lure of scuba and a lone payphone connection to the mainland, threadbare sheets in my second floor room, salty dampness on my skin inescapable, wafting Bimini bread, diving three times a day, three times each day breaching the ocean surface to enter another atmosphere the coral shapes the fish, eels and sharks (if I am lucky enough to catch them), the rusting wrecks on the ocean floor; on land I am liquid enough to fill any gap you may need, to make you seem whole not enough to hold my own form only liquid enough to dissociate, to evaporate and return to the sky raining down again and again in a relentless cycle I don’t know how to break, but then again I do, I show my daughter her own lines of freedom like me and not like me, I still like her, that’s my love for her; the pressure of the ocean’s belly compresses me, I am held, I feel the ocean that indwells me; Bimini Road lore and the fantasy of a magical ancient city rising to modern day becomes a possibility and I am here for it, wild dolphins escort the boat back to the marina after every dive; I dangle my legs over the bow and greet them. 

I know how to escape a trap, just don’t know how to avoid one in the first place which is why I end up living a life split in two, my daughter with me half the week, the other half on my own which is not easy because I only know alone and unbelonging having not yet grown into solitude but I manage anyway, week after week; my hands are full and tied at the same time with a never-ending separation from her father, too many broken things to repair; one week a summer I escape my life and breathe like I own the air around me; deboarding the seaplane in Bimini for a customs check I am on my way elsewhere but wonder if that’s a mistake because the island’s raw vibration, its rough edges of sand and sea and wild palms and balmy wind awakens my stifled wanderlust and desire rough edges of for adventure, not just a vacation; blue water horizon invites me to explore so the following year I return to Bimini, the lure of scuba and a lone payphone connection to the mainland, threadbare sheets in my second floor room, salty dampness on my skin inescapable, wafting Bimini bread, diving three times a day, three times each day breaching the ocean surface to enter another atmosphere the coral shapes the fish, eels and sharks (if I am lucky enough to catch them), the rusting wrecks on the ocean floor; on land I am liquid enough to fill any gap you may need, to make you seem whole not enough to hold my own form only liquid enough to dissociate, to evaporate and return to the sky raining down again and again in a relentless cycle I don’t know how to break, but then again I do, I show my daughter her own lines of freedom like me and not like me, I still like her, that’s my love for her; the pressure of the ocean’s belly compresses me, I am held, I feel the ocean that indwells me; Bimini Road lore and the fantasy of a magic indwells me; al ancient city rising to modern day becomes a possibility and I am here for it, wild dolphins escort the boat back to the marina after every dive; I dangle my legs over the bow and greet them.

my own desire enough 

to fill raining down my love

ocean indwells me